End Of An Era…

Let’s take it back to 2018, I wrote my first blog spilling the Tee about what I thought love was at one point in my life. I shared moments of vulnerability, moments of transparency, & moments where judgment was lapsed in every way. When I used to think of love, I used to always think of the person that started this whole journey. As I ended 2025 & settled into 2026, I realized clearly my thoughts had me fucked up…

For the longest time I extended grace, where it shouldn’t have been extended to a man that never really gave a damn about me. I don’t know what it was that clicked, but after our last interaction, which actually wasn’t that long ago, something opened my eyes to see that I was begging for something from somebody who had no capacity to ever give me the things that I wanted &/or needed. Each time I would reach out I would disguise it as concern, worry, genuine care about his well-being, but in actuality, it was for my own self-serving reasons… trying to see if he finally had the capacity to love me the way that I loved him.

It wasn’t until I couldn’t provide any resources, any words of affirmation, anything that could level up his current status that I realized this era of life had ended for the both of us. I said no. When you say no to people that are about take take & take some more, you really get a full scope of who they are & how they have been playing in your face!

I won’t go into detail because I truly feel like it doesn’t deserve it anymore, but this lesson in love was not a hard one to learn this time. Although I had this skewed reality of what life would be like between the both of us, the prayers that I had been praying to not feel like THAT anymore had finally worked, & I chose myself. In choosing myself, I cut off resources that were easily accessible to a nigga that didn’t deserve access to a public park bench.

As much as I want to talk down on his ass, I won’t because it could easily be me in the same situation trying to survive. What I will say though, is being stuck in survival mode really makes folks miss out & mistreat the good & good hearted that God places in their lives. In this situation, I’m choosing to relax, relate, & release the bullshit because life is too good for me to sit in some shit that I know does not serve me.

With life being as good as it is, the desire had always been to share it with somebody so I think that’s why I held on so long because in losing him, I lost my fairytale. Almost every girl has a dream of meeting her Prince Charming. Yes, it may look different for us all, but ultimately that Disney whimsy is something that holds space in our lives whether we want to admit it or not…

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I’ve come to the end of a 15 year era that probably should’ve ended much sooner than now but hey everything happens for a reason. Olivia Dean said it best “ it’s all right. I think I’m fine with the silence. There’s some good in goodbye.” & I think in all of this the best thing I did was say goodbye. We are allowed to make mistakes, we are allowed to hold space for people longer than we should in hopes that they realize what they have before it’s too late. What we aren’t going to do, though is beat ourselves up because of how long it took us to finally make the decisions that aren’t sometimes the easiest.

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I can’t bring myself to erase the memories in my heart or my photo album just yet partly because I look really cute in the pictures but also because deep deep deep down inside the hope is probably still there but I would be a fool to continue to block out parts of myself & not give the next man the full experience of what I know my love can & will bring. So I’m closing out this book, this moment, this era knowing that I gave it my best. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel bad about the outcome because as they say, you win some, & you lose some. I’m good with where I am now & that’s really all that counts.

I used to think that finding a replacement would be the way that I let all of this go not realizing that filling the void wouldn’t resolve the heartbreak.

In all ways & In all things…

Let Go & Let Love

-Tee