Dating Diaries: Volume 4

You would think that after the stories told in previous volumes, that this wouldn’t still be a thing but your girl is still out here trying & failing at dating. So here we are with yet another installment of the Dating Daries. The last time we were here, (apparently that was 2 years ago!) we were holding out hope that we’d find that one, but NAHHH!

Let’s get into it…

If you ask my friends, I’ve been known to spin the block a time or 10 & that was how Kenny ended up back in my life. Kenny was a throwback from wayback. We met in 2016 on a dating site of course. It was never anything serious between us. We would hang out from time to time & there were always good vibes. We would see each other on dating sites & like 2 kids playing a game, swipe on one another to see if we would match. One day in 2019, I came out & asked him why we were playing this game & he basically said to me that we would never work. FF to 2024 of course we reconnect & he then says, “We’ve been in each other’s lives off & on for years now, let’s give this a try.” We try & WE FAIL! A month later, we end things because this man was everything I didn’t want.

He was not romantic, thoughtful, or caring in the way a man wanting a wife should be. I am partly to blame because people are only going to do what you allow & I allowed him to lay up in my space & not take me on dates or do anything that matters when you’re in a relationship. The thing that signified the end for me was him acting like my birthday meant nothing. If I don’t do anything else, I am going to celebrate the day God gave y’all me! He asked me what I wanted to do & also what I wanted for my birthday. I had already made plans prior to us making it official so I kept it simple & told him to make reservations at this restaurant I had been wanting to try & for a gift I wanted flowers, a card, & this specific perfume. On my birthday, this man texted me HBD. Didn’t even have the decency to call, then he showed up at my place empty handed claiming that Amazon still had not delivered the gift he got me. He also proceeded to tell me that he was going out of town & would be back Sunday meaning that he never planned to even take me out the Saturday like we had originally planned.  

There is more, but I’ll end Kenny’s story like this… I never got the “gift” that he claimed that he had & that was the last time we had dealings. This man popped up a few times this year, texting me ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ (I’m not a mother) then texting a few weeks after that asking how dating was going… NIGGA, WHAT?!?!

Next up is Ernest. This is also a spin right back around the block. I’ve known him for over a decade, but we have never been romantically involved. I hit him up & told him that I would be working in his area for the week & suggested that we grab a drink. He agreed & said he wanted to see where things could go so the direction of our conversations changed. For a little over a month, the energy was there. Facetimes, calls, & texts were constant. The Sunday before I was set to travel it was crickets… I said something to him about it & he went off on me about how we had been talking consistently & he didn’t feel like we needed to speak daily but mind you we had been doing just that FOR WEEKS! Needless to say, we never met up & he actually went ghost on my ass but still consistently watches my social media like he didn’t play me completely to the left…!

But… If you know me, you know that there is always another plan. One of my social media crushes, let’s call him Calvin, also lived in the area so I also let him know I would be traveling to the area soon & his energy was what I needed. We agreed to meet up on a Wednesday, but the vibes were there so I suggested that we see one another more than once while I was in town. He agreed & we had a great time together for 2 days then it went silent! That was back in February. Calvin & I still speak randomly via social media but I am assuming that my impression of our time differed from his because even though it was something I wanted, nothing ever came from it. C’est la vie… on to the next…

Then came Lance. Lance presented as the perfect man. Once again, I took my ass to a dating site & we matched, he told me that we had matched previously during the COVID era, but this wasn’t an interaction that I remembered. He had the proof to support his claim, so we went with it. The same day we matched we talked for hours & went on our first date. Things were looking up for about a week then he went ghost. By now, we should know that me & Casper are besties, so this was not anything new when it came to the men I encounter.

I was hurt. I thought Lance was different (he wasn’t) & being pressed, I did something I shouldn’t have. Lance happened to live in the complex next to mine so I left him a nice note on his car after a few hours of day drinking…a lil liquid courage if you will.

Imagine my surprise the next day when I get a text from a woman telling me how he was a liar & borrowing money from her & her husband to take me out. She also proceeds to tell me the car he drives belongs to them, which is how she saw the note that I left him with my information on it. She told me to run because basically everything that he had told me was a lie.  After our interaction, I still didn’t hear from this man for WEEKS. When he finally showed up again, he was full of lies but I allowed them. I was lonely y’all!

The thing that ended it for me though was him GOING TO JAIL for a month then trying to bounce back into my life like it was all cool. His being locked up did it for me for real. So, he had to go, but did I listen to my gut? NOPE! He popped up for a short time & tried me so bad that earned him a spot on the block list for good.

I had been telling my family & friends that I wasn’t interested in dating anyone & I really wasn’t. Lance came from my last go round of dating site tryouts in late February so from then until now I haven’t been looking & based off of the last few interactions, I think I’m good. Nothing good is coming from any of this & if I am being honest, I am tired of putting myself through the pain of liking the potential of someone who means me no good.

Y’all know I am an optimist/lover girl so I’m still holding out hope that this love thing will happen for me, but as the days progress I am coming to terms with the lonely & trying to find ways to supplement the void in my heart. I used to say that I know that it won’t always be like this, but now…. Idk y’all. If you have a prayer in you, pray for you girl. The pillows stay stained from my tears. Hoping the next time I cry though, it’s from this singleness prayer being answered because your girl is tired.

In all ways & In all things,

Let Go & Let Love

-Tee