It's the first of the mooooooonth! Happy May! I'm baaaaack! I've missed you all. I wanted to come play last month, but I wasn't in a good space. I didn't want to come to y'all if I wasn't coming correct! I'm here now & better than ever. Let's get into it & start May off right with a new post!!!!
Here Goes:
Being single & not having the desire to date is hard as hell & not for reasons you would think. It’s difficult to navigate the single life for me, because I find myself constantly explaining my reasoning &/or motive for it & people settle so much these days it can be hard to understand.I decided a few months back that I would get off all the dating sites I joined & really just go with the flow.
Going with the flow seemed like a good idea until I concluded that unless he was the mail man, at the grocery store, at work, or at church the probability of meeting “Mr. Right” would be be slim to none. (Let go & let God though. He's coming & will meet you wherever you are ;)I’ve said this time & time again that if I had to settle, fake smile, or negotiate the seemingly nonnegotiable’s, then I’m good. I’ve reached a peak in my life where if it doesn’t have some type of meaning or I don't feel it then whatever it is probably isn’t meant to be in my life & that goes for everything..
Friends, family, men, jobs, nothing is excluded!I realized that in making that vow to myself, the bland sex that I had been having just to say “I’m getting some on the regular” had to go! Lol it’s sad to say, but I was going by the “it’s better to have a little of something than a whole lot of nothing” motto, & that was really some bullshit.The past two months have been hard to navigate with Kyle coming back into the picture a week & a half ago to separated shawty serving unseasoned dick. I have been blocked three times by three different guys & I've been called a few colorful things in the span of a week. All I can do is laugh.
What makes a man say I am going to block her on all my social media, call her a bitch, then pop up 3-4 weeks later like nothing happened. & they say that women are the emotional ones... YEAH OKAY
It’s been hard for the guys I’ve been involved with to come to terms with the fact that I am no longer putting up with the stupid shit I allowed before. A few of them have said to me “Teedra, I don’t know you anymore.” & my response each time has been that they never really knew me to begin with.
As much as it sucks to admit, Kyle was the only man who ever tried to truly know me. Behind the smile, goofy personality & smart mouth there’s a woman who is dope as hell, but hidden from the world because the key to unlock her best qualities hasn’t been found. I do desire to be myself 100% one day & hope that it’s in God’s will to send me a forever love. If not, I will be TT of the year every year. Lol
Although it may seem like it to some, singleness is not a curse. It’s truly a blessing. It’s in these times that we are allowed to explore, live freely without obligation & not have to answer to anyone, date around, & learn our likes & dislikes. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting to know yourself. Singleness is a place where you can explore all things without the judgement or reprimands of others.
When you no longer have the desire to please anyone other than yourself, your preferences, deal breakers, & needs become very clear. Not straying from those things will allow for you to see who’s really around for you, what position they want you to play & their intentions.
Self-discovery has been the hardest, yet most eye opening necessity for my growth. I don’t think that I would have been able to find myself in the capacity that I have if it weren’t for all the heartaches & let downs. So for all these things, I’m grateful.
Let Go & Let Love
-Tee
