Last blog, I talked big shit about ghosting Mr. Married. I did the exact opposite & fell deeper in like with the fool. It’s crazy though because I have been able to separate my feelings for him & taking it for what it really is. I know I need to go cold turkey & leave his ass alone, but outside of anything physical, I like the way he makes me feel.
I honestly made horrible decisions all throughout last month. From continuing the conversations with Mr. Married, to reaching back out to Kyle. It’s all been a hot ass mess. The lonely won. I’ve been doing really well navigating this single life. I’ve taken myself on a few dinner dates, gone to movies, treated myself to spa days… really just embracing this time alone, but that void is still lingering.
I’ve had amazing support from my friends in terms of them understanding the whole single struggle, then some others have been a bit insensitive as if craving companionship is wrong & I’m not self-sufficient. Wanting companionship & intimacy is completely normal & I’m not going to ignore my feelings towards those things at all. I have learned, however, that I cannot entertain everyone that comes my way because of this lonely season. These past few weeks I have found myself very drained & in a funk/slump & I believe that it came from these emotionally leeching situations.
In all honesty y’all, I haven’t been on a REAL date in years & I’ve just been trying to see what that feels like again. lol I’ve been on Tinder twice in the past week, & each time I joined, I deleted my account shortly after. I say that I want to be with someone so I do things that can help in the process, but I truly want things to just happen naturally. I know that I have to leave my house & be social for that, but it’s hard.
Aside from dating or not dating, staying busy is crucial in this time for me. Being intentional about my work & really engrossing myself in it is what’s on the agenda for the rest of this year. I find myself getting very discouraged because I don’t know what is going to come from this, I don’t know if what I see for my life is the same thing God sees for me.
Honestly, there is a bunch of shit that’s been holding me back from venturing out & doing things out of the norm, but that stops today. Today a new week starts & I refuse to allow the negative to take over & prevent me from producing results. I’m rolling out a few new things this month blog related & non blog related & I’m super excited.
Thanks to a loyal reader & friend, weekly blogs are becoming a thing. I am also starting a new channel on Youtube that I want to be up & running by the end of the month. OH! & your girl is submitting her first short story for publication! This month is going to be epic for me in relation to my career as a blogger/writer.Y’all keep me lifted & welcome to the family new readers!
Buckle up & let’s enjoy the ride! :)
Find a way or make one... either way commit & succeed.
-Tee